TOPAZ BUTTERFLY

This is just a collection of my own thoughts. Writing, is my way of letting my voice be heard. Don't ever catch a butterfly by its wings!

Friday, October 28, 2005

A WARM EMBRACE

Most of my childhood memories I think back on fondly. There is this one memory inparticular that I keep coming back to because it encompasses so many of the dreams I had as a child that now have been carried over into adulthood. My stepsister Angela and I loved to perform. We would pick out music, press record and start singing to the top of our lungs. There is this one song that to this day still rings in my ears. I believe the name of the song is "Where the Boys Are". I don't know who wrote the song, but I remember the lyrics. I wonder just what I was thinking about when I sang this song along side of Angela. I know I had no idea what I was singing about or as an adult just how profound the words would be to me. We sang this song long before we were influenced by shallow and superficial images and long before we lusted after bulging biceps or hot bods.

It was a time when we first experienced our hearts beating a little faster when in close proximity to the object of our affection. A time when our worst fear was sweaty palms or getting tongue tied from being so nervous. A time when our cheeks flushed at the mere mention of our crush's name. A time when we began to experience all these new and strange feelings for the very first time. We all remember our first crush. I am proud to say that my first crush was Michael J. Fox who is best known as "Alex P. Keaton" from Family Ties back in the Eighties. There is no telling how many times I have watched Michael J. Fox play "Scott Howard" in "Teen Wolf". A time when we held the belief that one day Prince Charming would ride in on a white knight. After all Cinderella said, "a dream is a wish your heart makes". Down deep inside of every woman lives the little girl we once were that longs to be that fairytale princess and expects the "happily ever after" story book ending. It's just how we were made as the old saying goes of "sugar and spice and everything nice".

The reason I remember this song I sang so long ago is because it's still what I long for. In the long run, good looks are overrated. Most of the time good looking guys are conceited at best and womanizers at worst. Eventually the good looks fade away and what you are left with is a person who is a shallow and frustrated has been that only had to offer an attractive face and a muscular physique. In the end, these physical attributes add up to not much of anything. Kindness is the key. Passion plays a part in the story, but when your old and gray tenderness will win out everytime. So as I wait for the man of my dreams, I will keep in mind and take to heart the words of this song that within it's bars hold immeasurable value. At the end of the day, when I come in out of the cold, all I really want at the end of my reach is two arms wrapped around me in a warm embrace.

"Where the Boys Are"
Someone waits for Me
A smiling face
A warm embrace
Two arms to hold me tenderly

Where the Boys Are
Someone waits for me
Where the boys are
Where the boys are
Where the boys are
Someone waits for me

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

THE ANSWERS WITHIN

A guy friend of mine asked me a very interesting and complex question last night. We were discussing song lyrics and poetry. He asked me "Why do we like that kind of stuff?" Why does it appeal to us? I am going to attempt an answer. It's a complex question with many answers.

Women long for romance. Men long to be romantic. Women look for answers to burning questions about themselves within "the bars of a rhyme" such as "Am I beautiful?" "Am I worthy of love?" "Do I have what it takes?" Our biggest fear is being abandoned.

On the other hand, men look to these song writers and poets for inspiration because a man's biggest fear is failure. Men secretly desire to be more open about matters of the heart. Women desire for men to be more open about love. Women desire to be rescued from our insecurites and men desire to rescue us.

Instead of taking risks and expressing how we feel, we hide behind the insights of others telling ourselves that that particular songwriter or poet says it a lot better than I could ever say it. We depend on songs to evoke emotions within us that stay dormat most of the time because we try so hard not to feel for fear of feeling anything. We have become comfortably numb.

We like this romantic prose because it allows us to feel again. It provides an escape hatch from this cruel world. It transports us into a safe haven where we can get back in touch with that part of us that is not afraid to dream, make wishes, and anticipate happy endings.

It's the tiny place in our hearts that has not been jaded by cruel intentions or rejection and is not afraid to have a little faith and trust in someone. It's a place in our hearts that is not afraid to live or to love and be loved. It is a state of letting emotions run free and lifting spirits. It's like taking a good mood pill and immediately feeling better about life and love. It allows us to relate and empathize with each other realizing that we are not alone in the world. After all, "No man is an island". We all need to get in touch with our emotions. We all desire to see poetry in motion. We are all looking for the answers within.