"TO BE OR NOT TO BE?"

Last weekend I went to see the movie, "Just Friends" starring Ryan Reynolds. I think he looks a little bit like Ben Affleck, but in a goofy sort of way. He plays this guy who in high school is anything but cool or popular. His best friend, however is the most popular girl in school. After high school, he leaves New Jersey and winds up in L.A. where he has lost over a hundred pounds or more and the sweet sensitivity that he had as a teenage boy. He is quite the player who never lets his heart get involved. Through a job responsibility, he ends up right where he started and runs back into the girl that made his heart go pitter patter. He thinks that his new look and smooth moves will win her over, but what he doesn't realize is that she misses the boy that he used to be. Just like a guy, he makes every wrong turn and bad decision until it finally hits him right between the eyes to just be himself-no smooth talk or moves required.

Most of us have had to suffer through the "Just Friends" speech. The truth is that men and women can't just be friends in the true meaning of the word. At least one person in this friendship sees the other person a little differently and secretly hopes for more. I love the speech that Harry gives Sally in "When Harry Met Sally". He says basically that men and women can't be friends. I know that some of you will disagree with me on this point. You may have a "girl friend" or a "guy friend" with whom you have a platonic relationship, but chances are one of you has feelings for the other. You are just beyond scared to admit those feelings on the off chance that the person you have feelings for doesn't have the same feelings for you.

"Friendship" between men and women is comfortable and safe. There are no commitments and no guarantees. In a platonic relationship, what you see is what you get. There are no mind games and no need to impress. It sounds pretty good unless there are feelings involved and the "no mess" friendship because a "relationship" would be way too messy becomes a secret and silent torture. When he brushes up against you or she holds your hand it isn't just physical contact it becomes emotional and maybe you blush because you have a secret crush.

Suddenly you find yourself right smack dab in the middle of the "friend zone" with this person and realize this is not what you signed up for at all. There is no escape unless someone else catches your eye and instead of striking up a "friendship" with this person you absolutely refuse to get caught in the "friend zone" again. It's an endless cycle until one of you has the courage to speak up and say "Hey I like you and not just in a friendly kind of way". "My feelings go beyond that". "I don't know about you, but I really what to see where this thing can go". "Are you willing to take a chance with me?" That's really all it takes, but saying those words can be so much harder than getting water from the moon. Maybe it will take some creativity on your part.

I encourage you to go see "Just Friends" with your "friend" whom you wish could be your significant other or rent "When Harry Met Sally" and then take the opportunity to tell the person how you feel. You never know that person may have feelings for you too and may be relieved that you stepped up to the plate first. He or she may even admire your bravery and courage. It definitely will give the person something to think about. Life is too short to torture yourself. Remember the immortal words of William Shakespeare in the play "Hamlet" "To be or not to be, that is the question". To be or not to be friends? Now that is the ultimate question and you and your "so called friend" deserve an answer.