RED LETTER WORTHY

The idea for this post materialized from a conversation with a good friend of mine. I was talking about my younger brother and how he doesn't realize that his years in high school are going to be some of the best of his life. My friend Matt said that he hopes that he hasn't lived the best day of his life yet. He had a really good point. I hope that I haven't lived the best day of my life yet either because if I have then there is not much to look forward to. This mindset of thinking "the best is yet to come" is the avenue to keeping hope alive. "Eventually our future becomes our past". I like to use "Dawsonisms". The character Pacey said this to the character Joey on Dawson's Creek when discussing whether or not their lives would continue to go in the same direction as the decision to go to college was upon them. It is true our future eventually does become the past.

So I would like to take a few minutes and think about the days gone by out of my life. As far back as I can remember, I have always looked up to my older brother Ben. He has no idea how he has influenced my life or how proud I am to call him my brother and to be known as his little sister. He wasn't always that fond of me so I considered it a good day when he was nice to me for a change. The day he stopped picking on me for good is when I accidentally kicked him in the kneecaps. He really hasn't bothered me since then. It was long overdue for my brother to look at me as his equal instead of his annoying baby sister.

When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time away from home because my parents are divorced and I had to spend every other weekend with my dad and his new family. We had some good and not so good times together. On Saturdays, when it was either fall or winter, we would go to the skating rink. I remember I used to get so excited when the theme from "Ghostbusters" was played because the lights went down and it was fun to skate in the dark. In the summertime, we would always go to the country club to swim and it was always a privilege for my dad to drive me around in his golf cart. It was always a privilege for me to spend any time at all alone with my dad which didn't happen too often. When my stepmother went to visit her family, Daddy would pick me up and he would make a pot of canned chili on the stovetop. There was nothing better than Kelly's canned chili at that particular time of my life. I wouldn't even try my grandmother's homemade chili. I hope I didn't hurt her feelings. The times that I actually had my Daddy's undivided attention are moments that I cherish.

I met my best friend when I was twelve years old. We didn't actually like each other at first. We had to warm up to each other. I loved spending time with her family because they were so called "normal" unlike my blended one. I really looked up to and respected her dad. The summer before my senior year of high school, I got to go on vacation to Gulf Shores with them. We had a really good time. My best friend, Heather and I got into a fight. In fact every trip that we have ever been on together we got into a fight. I suppose that it is just the nature of best friends to argue, fight, and make up and even more so the nature of sisters. Heather and I are more like sisters than we are best friends. It was so great to have our own secret code and inside jokes that nobody else understood. From time to time, and probably more often than we should have we spent what we called "lazy days" which meant that we spent all day in our pajamas being lazy trying to solve the world's problems. For the most part, Heather and I lived in a bubble. At first, it wasn't easy sharing my best friend with her then boyfriend and now her husband. I was very honored to take front row seats at her wedding as a bridesmaid. Just recently, she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. That is one event I will not soon forget and I am sure that she won't either.

During college, I met some really awesome people who I just so happened to work with. Two guys in particular made my time at that department store worthwhile. One of the guys was just a friend. He reminded me alot of my older brother. He said that I reminded him of his older sister. Sometimes, Chris and I would fight like brother and sister. One day, while working together we just bonded. I don't stay in touch with him anymore, but that doesn't mean that he wasn't once a part of my life. He really was fun to hang out with especially when he took me for rides in his jeep or we quizzed each other on Saved By the Bell trivia.

The other guy Will was much more than a friend. He was my first love. At first we were friends, but it didn't take long for us to fall for one another. He only saw the good in me. We were kindred spirits. We had a lot of good times together. I consider myself blessed having known him and having been a part of his life. He is special. He will go down in the books as being one of the great loves of my life. I will always look back at that time of my life and smile.

I count myself very blessed to have met Cherrie who is my adult best friend. I met her working in retail. We became very close. When she lived here, we would go out and eat together alot. I got to spend a great deal of time with her when she was pregnant with her first child. Her husband would go out of town alot of times on business. So I would stay with Cherrie and we would just sit up and talk. At the time, I was struggling with letting go of a relationship. Cherrie really listened and helped me see things in a different light. I am very privileged to have been given her advice and perspective on different matters. She is older so I benefit from getting advice from someone with more life experience than me. She is a "God send". I am very grateful for her friendship. There was something very comforting about going over to Cherrie's house after school, and partaking in a refreshing canned diet coke. I would download on her about the day of events as a teacher. We ordered out Chili's and No. 1 Chinese food often. One of my favorite memories is when I tried albeit unsuccessfully to teach Cherrie how to make a chicken enchilada casserole. It was just a privilege to spend any time together especially now that she lives 800 miles or so away.

A little over a year ago, I met someone on a blind date. At that time, I had no idea that we would become such great friends who share alot in common. In fact, we share so much in common that at times, it's a little unsettling. We even share one of the same recurring dreams! However, we have just enough different interests which keeps our relationship interesting. We are definitely kindred spirits. Just recently, Matt volunteered to be my shoulder to cry on. He is a great guy with alot of potential. I wish that he could see that. He is unique and one of a kind. His friendship means a great deal to me. I consider the day that I met him a "red letter day" although I was unaware of it at the time. I had no idea what he would come to mean to me.

I know that my cousin Chase is someone that I can count on to be honest with me and sometimes to a fault. Chase is brutually honest. I know that he will always listen to whatever I need to say even if I do have an annoying tendency to overanalyze situations. He is one of the most geniune people on the planet. He reminds me to chill out, lighten up, and have fun.

My Moma is one of my best friends. I know that sounds like a cliche, but it is true. I wouldn't have gotten as far as I have gotten in my life without her constant outpouring of support, encourgagement, and love. She also can and does light a fire under me when I need it. We should all be so blessed to have a mom as great as mine. She keeps me level headed and grounded. Today, she kept me from spending too much money on clothes. I have a tendency to go overboard when it comes to my wardrobe. I am a clothes connoisseur. My mom and I have similiarities, but I inherited my fashion sense from my paternal grandmother. I think that my mom and I balance each other out. It is comforting to know that I can come to her and talk to her about anything even the hard stuff. She is a great listener. Not only do I love my mom which is just a requirement of being a daughter, but I appreciate what she has brought to my life. I was also very close to my maternal grandmother. She and I had a special bond although she did take my brother's side when we fought. Grandmommie always did her best to understand me and to lend an ear when it was needed. She tried to teach me to sew. She taught me many things and important lessons. She read to me from the Bible every night and we said our prayers together. When I was eleven years old, I talked to my grandmother about becoming a Christian and what it meant. She prayed with me and I asked the Lord into my heart and my life.

There are definitely moments of my life that stand out more than others. A montage of memories that are never very far from my mind. All of these people that I have mentioned have been apart of those memories in one way or another. One of my first memories was my dad picking me up from day care and giving me a "Strawberry Shortcake" doll. On my seventh birthday after my party, my mom took me to get my ears pierced. She also got her ears pierced. It was a rite of passage. I also remember calling my mom from a payphone when I was a teenager to ask her if I could get a second hole. Her answer was "no". Sometimes, I miss the days of being under parental authority. Now, I have my second hole. I got my ears pierced for the second time as an adult after visiting my dad at the hospital. I am grateful that his condition seems to be under control. It is in those kind of moments that you realize what is important and everything else just seems to fade away.

I took gymnastics when I was younger. In 1989, I received a first place trophy for my routine. Heather and I used to make up routines and blast loud music in her backyard. I would also try to put on shows every summer for the neighbors. In 1994, we had an icestorm which meant that Heather and I were out of school for a week and a half. It was so great. We had lots of "lazy days" in a row that winter. I have alot of great memories of being a footloose, and fancy free kid. My Uncle Jack taught me to ride a bike without training wheels. My Uncle Rich taught me how to not be afraid of the water by catching me every time I jumped off the diving board essentially teaching me about trust. My Aunt Frances encouraged me to express my feelings on paper because she knew that I had trouble expressing them verbally hence years of journaling, and more recently blogging. I had no trouble talking to her every summer when she came home as I kept her company while she smoked a cigarette. I graduated with highest honors from high school which was quite a feat from being a mediorce student with emotional problems. The day I graduated from college was surreal. I finally got the sapphire ring that I had been eyeing for a few years from my family. I even have some fond memories of teaching although I think my former students taught me more than I could ever teach them. I even came full circle teaching at a school were I had been taught as a child.

I followed through with one of my childhood dreams. Almost a year ago, I set out on a publishing journey. It has always been my dream to write a book, but becoming a published author goes beyond my wildest dreams. I am living proof, that some dreams are within our reach. "I took what was killing me and turned it into something potentially beautiful". That quote comes from none other than Dawson's Creek. The character Pacey said that to the character Andie. He was referring to the "True Love" which was his boat that he had named after Andie. They had broken up over her indiscretion. He was proud of his boat because it had been shipwrecked and he spent alot of time working on it, perfecting it, and making it seaworthy. I am just as proud of my book as Pacey was of his boat. I literally take that quote to heart, as I believe my manuscript was turned into something "potentially beautiful". It's intent is to inspire and bring hope to someone who desperately needs a dose of it. The ability to string together words is an amazing gift. I am very grateful for the opportunity to express myself in this way.

I have given some shout outs to some people because without them the sheer joy of reveling in this accomplishment would not be as rewarding. It is very rewarding to see something you began all the way through to completion. They all have a very special place in my heart. At the end of your life if you could be given an awards ceremony in honor of "special moments" or "red letter days", what would they be? Over the course of this post, I have shared what I consider to be my special moments and I have mentioned the very special people in my family and my closeknit network of friends who help make the not so good days bearable and the great days "red letter worthy". There are not enough words in the English language, or any language for that matter, to express how each individual has enriched my life.

I must admit one of my favorite movies is "Serendipity". I can just get lost in that word. It's got a magical quality to it. In the movie, there are two schools of thought: 1). Life is "chaos personified". 2). Life is not "chaos personified". Yes, it is true that sometimes more often than not life can be chaotic, but that doesn't mean that our life doesn't have a purpose or a deeper meaning than just breathing in and out and going through the motions. Katherine Anne Porter once wrote "There seems to be a kind of order in the universe... in the movement of the stars and the turning of the Earth and the changing of the seasons. But human life is almost pure chaos. Everyone takes his stance, asserts his own rights and feelings, mistaking the motives of others and his own". If life is a chaotic, and sometimes it can be it's because we make it so with our complications.

"Serendipity" means a fortunate accident. I don't believe that we are here by chance or that we meet or encounter people by chance. It's all apart of a divine plan. Although, I do not believe in acccidents or coincidences, I do consider myself very fortunate and blessed to have met the people I have in my life and doubly so for the ones who have been and continue to be constants. I consider it an honor to have these companions in which to walk down my life's journey.

There are 365 days in a year. I have lived about a hundred days of 2006. Some of those days I would consider "red letter" and others could actually have been better. There have already been some bridges burned and lessons learned. I choose not to focus on life's meaner bites because that would just make me bitter. I am still hopeful of the days to come and like Matt I hope "the best is yet to come" whether it be in 2006 or along down the line. The Greeks didn't have memorials for their loved ones. They asked only one question at the end of a man's life, "Did he have passion?" I hope that people say that I had passion when I am gone.

I will close this post out with my favorite quote from "Serendipity". It agrees with that second school of thought. Hopefully, you will be able to appreciate it.

"Life is not merely a meaningless sequence of accidents and coincidences. But rather a tapestry of events that culiminate into an exquisite and sublime plan".