THE WEDNESDAY RULE

Often times, unwritten rules can have more weight than the written ones. The rules that are understood seem to be followed more closely than the rules that have been carefully crafted. There should be a guide book for us girls when we are involved with the opposite sex. There have been so many books written on the relationships between men and women that it is mind boggling. Which literature should we pay attention to? And which literature should line the bottom of a bird cage? It really is sickening the lengths that people will go to take advantage of the vunerability and insecurities of women. That having been said, there are also those people who go out of their way to encourage the male ego and capitalize on their fear of failure. No wonder relationships are doomed before they even get started. What is wrong with trusting our gut instinct?

If you grew up in the 80's and early 90's, then more than likely one of the cardinal rules of your household was "Don't call boys". "Calling boys" makes them lazy. Initiation was the role they were meant to play. When we take the reigns so to speak, we are left wondering if I had just waited, would he have made a move. If your guy is like most, he will take his precious and sweet time about getting in touch with you. Don't ask me why because I do not have the answer. And why do girls overanalyze? Why are men and women so different? The only answer that I have for those questions is that God designed them that way.

Guys definitely play games to see just how long our threshold for torture will last. Girls play games as well, but only the girls that believe that in order to survive in a man's world we have to think and act like men, which by the way could not be any further from the truth. Girls test guys to see their true colors and misguidedly determine their self worth. Does this guy really like me or is he just playing games? Will he come through for me? Am I asking too much? These are questions that we have all asked ourselves girls, whether we were in a relationship or on the cusp of one. One way we measure whether or not a guy is interested is by "the Wednesday rule". We have all been guilty of waiting for that phone to ring or checking our inbox incessantly, but if he hasn't called by Wednesday then he doesn't care enough. I don't know that guys are even aware that this rule exists after all 99.9% of them are completely clueless.

Nevertheless, it is a rule that the female species lives by. We might be testing them, but we are limiting ourselves or maybe we just don't want to waste our time. After all, we all have biological clocks and they are ticking especially if you grew up in the aforementioned era. So will we settle for less than what we deserve? Will this vicious cycle ever stop turning? Not if we continue to listen to the mindless and heartless people who take advantage of the human condition. Guys will still play with our emotions. They will still test the waters. Girls will still measure themselves against impossible standards. We will still measure our worth by what he isn't saying or doing.

We really should stop determining our self worth by whether or not guys break these rules or pass our tests. We are so much better than that. We were not made for that purpose. In the song "Shimmer" by Shawn Mullins he says "We were born to shimmer, born to shine, born to radiant". "Born to live, born to love, but they will teach us how to hate". We were not meant to live in the shadow of men and of this world. Phillipians 2:14-15 says "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe".

It is not fair to evoke such unwritten rules on men anymore than it is fair for men to mess with the fragile emotions of women. There are two good books out there that will turn all this pyscho babble on its head. "Wild at Heart" was written for men by John Eldredge the other Captivating was written for women by John Eldredge and his wife Stasi. Until we can break free of this bondage it will continue to hold us down. Instead of being captivating we will just be held captive by a worldly standard of what we should be; therefore, unable to see who we truly are through the eyes of our Maker. We will continue to be disillusioned. We will be living a lie. We will continue to live by impossible standards dictated by unwritten rules that are not easily breakable. We will continue to allow ourselves to be measured by worldly standards such as "the Wednesday rule".