"GOODBYE TO THE GONDOLAS"

Here lately I have been using metaphors to describe events and situations in my life. "Goodbye to the Gondolas" is yet another metaphor. "Goodbye" means goodbye, but if you have ever had to say this to anyone physically or emotionally, you know that it is not that cut and dry. "Gondolas is my metaphor for "romantic fantasies" or "lost love". Have you ever been in love? It's like a hot air balloon ride soaring through the clouds; higher and higher watching the world beneath you or not paying much attention to the world at all. For me it was like an out of body experience yet feeling every glance, every touch, and every heartbeat just the same. What if you are experiencing all of this for the very first time? What happens then when the air gets taken out of your balloon? You start to plummet towards the earth at a mind boggling pace. You land with a thud. You are left all alone curled into a ball desperately trying to put the pieces of your broken heart back together. Then you wait impatiently for the day when your heart will open again. The aftermath of a breakup is one of the hardest hits to endure and the effects are long lasting. Then when you finally manage to stand up and get your footing; the ground feels solid enough. "Wham!" You are hit with the "boomerang effect". All of the feelings that you have tried so hard to push down inside of you come rising to the surface. You start to ride on these emotions forgetting the cardinal rule that "Emotions can be your biggest enemy". What happens when that person pours his or her heart out to you about a broken relationship? You have experienced the same heartache because this was the very person to inflict the almost unbearable pain on you. You desperately what to stop his or her pain and suddenly the pain that you felt gets pushed aside. You view it as almost insignificant because nothing else matters than the person that you love has miracously come back into your life. We all have that place, a harbor in our hearts that nurses the romantic fantasy that "lost love" will be found again. What happens when you find out the person that you desire most in the world wanted you back? What happens when you lay it all on the line? You tell this person how you feel. No holes are left barred. You open yourself up so nakedly. You risk it all. Then that person chooses a new relationship over the old one because it has lost its newness and appeal. What happens when this person breaks your trust? This person is one of the few people you trust in the world. What happens when this person you loved, trusted, and respected turns out to be nothing more than a coward? He can't connect his heart to his head. He can't face you and suddenly breaks off all communication. For the first time, you realize that this person you loved and thought you knew isn't the same. The person is not the person you thought he or she was at all. Your heart gets shredded again by the only person you wanted to give it to. What happens when there seems to be a dark endless tunnel? The bottom has fallen out of your world or at least it feels that way. You are on this downward spiral until you hit rock bottom. You choose to wallow in this dark, cold, and lonely place until the tears stop falling and your heart stops aching. You are not living, you're simply going through the motions searching for answers to unanswered questions. Sometimes the people that we love come back and sometimes they don't. Sometimes we get answers to our burning questions and sometimes we do not. Then you look up towards the sky and see the sunlight peeking through the clouds warming you up in this dark, cold, and lonely place that you ultimately have created for yourself. If you are anything like me you look towards Heaven for help and comfort. You realize that you have not been alone after all. You can breathe again without feeling pain in the pit of your stomach. Isaiah 61:1-2 "He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness the prisoners to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." What is the answer to all of these pondering questions? The only answer there ever could be is "Letting Go". Goodbye to the Gondolas Goodbye to the hopes and dreams wrapped up in this guy When I looked up to the sky I uncovered my tear stained face I realized I was being sheltered by His loving embrace And guarded by His Amazing Grace For when I began to let go Only then could He show His unfailing love I knew that I was being watched from above From this heartbreaking experience I began to grow I could begin to rest even though On life's journey I will be put to the test To seek for my life His utmost best Then the unanswered questions that invaded my mind will cease There only will I be able to find His indescribable peace

A to Z

I just found out that my childhood friend is expecting a baby the end of March. It is a very exciting time in her life and I am honored to share in the wonder of this new experience. Nothing makes me think about the meaning of it all more than the infinite circle of life. There is nothing like the urgency of a new generation nipping at your heels. All of sudden I want to be this sage and impart wisdom. It's a little scary, but I will do my best as this baby's surrogate aunt. In order to impart wisdom which is a huge responsibility, I must share the benefits of my own experiences and my shared experiences with the baby's Mom. Words of wisdom: To: Baby Girl 1. Cry to get what you want (at first) 2. Get a lot of sleep (You need you're beauty rest) i.e. I will read you fairytales 3. Sharing is a good thing contrary to popular belief. 4. Look both ways before crossing the street ( even though you have the right of way) 5. Never challenge a boy no matter how cute to a bike race. ( It can only end badly) 6. Don't call boys! (or write sappy love letters no matter how much you make like him) 7. The trick is to look like you are not wearing any make up at all (stay away from black eyeliner for as long as possible) 8. Don't ever slap a guy no matter how big a jerk he is. R-E-S-P-E-C-T 9. Don't ever put peroxide or any other unnatural agent in your hair. 10. Obey your parents (This one is very important!) 11. Guard your heart. Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." 12. Beauty comes from the inside ( Develop a healthy self-image) Psalm 45:11 "The king is enthralled with your beauty" To Baby Boy: 1. Cry to get what you want (at first) 2. Get as much sleep as possible (Even handsome princes should sleep once in a while.) 3. Sharing is a good thing contrary to popular belief. 4. Look both ways before crossing the street especially if you are playing "Chicken" with the guys Proverbs 10:1 "A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother". 5. Let the girls WIN! 6. Wipe your muddy feet. 7. Leave the toliet seat down. 8. Never tell a girl that she is fat even if it's true. 9. Don't ask a girl how much she weighs (This just isn't a good idea.) 10. Pull out chairs and open doors. 11. Good guys finish last is a myth. 12. Obey your parents (This one is important!) Ephesians 6:1 "Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." Although I don't have any children of my own. I am starting to see how the process works. When the time comes I will just pass on what I have learned from my parents to my kids. I will pass on everything from A to Z. (i.e. the above mentioned is just "LMNOP"). For now I will enjoy being an occasional caregiver. Like a fine wine I will get better with time. I think that parenthood is making it up as you go. Thank goodness I have had a wonderful example. "A to Z" is a metaphor for life and I believe the process starts over when you become a parent; back at the beginning experiencing all the ups and downs of life vicariously through your kids. Is it any wonder that babies put everything in perspective? A baby is a miracle. It makes absolute and perfect sense. 2 Timothy 3:16 "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness." Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge him, and he wil make your paths straight." Hebrews 4:16 "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need" John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." Deuteronomy 6:5 "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." To Unborn Child: A dream that started in a young girl's heart Scribbling down names while sitting in a church pew The seed has been planted It's time to grow And soon your mother will begin to show An ever present healthy glow A dream that began so long ago Can only be realized when you are due Then you will begin this wonderful journey called life Where you will experience days filled with joy, uncertainty And sometimes strife I hope that I am close by for a few And as much as I love your mother I am sure I will love you I am pretty sure I already do For whether you are born day or night I am sure your parents will love you at first sight And whether you be a girl or a boy You are sure to fill the hearts of the ones around you With unspeakable joy No matter what your name will be from A to Z You will be one hundred percent loved Especially by the One above

HUMBLE PIE

(This One's for the Guys) A few blogs ago, I wrote how I guy Max disappointed me. It is not now nor will it ever be my intention to bash men. I just knew that there were girls out there who could understand my frustration having been in a similar situation at one time or another themselves. It is a fact of life that the people we care about and care about us will inevitably disappoint us from time to time. However, I have recently realized that these same people can surprise us in the most unexpected ways. This guy that hurt my feelings and disappointed me, admitted that he was wrong and has humbly asked for my forgiveness. That doesn't happen too often and when it does happen you should sit up and take notice. I know I did. When a person is big enough to admit that he or she is wrong, it shows that the person has character. By the same token, when you have wronged a person you should be a big enough person to admit it. Since I am writing this blog for the guys I will turn my attention towards them. Don't misunderstand me guys, girls can screw up too. We are not innocent. Well everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but I digress. What I am trying to say is that most of the time if you are sorry enough and strip yourself of your macho bravado you will find that most girls will give you a second chance whether you call up a radio station to make a song dedication, make her a romantic candle light dinner, call a florist, or publicly admit that you are wrong on the internet. Everyone deserves a second chance. Let me let you guys in on a little secret. We girls really don't require that much, but if we respect ourselves then we will demand it of you. After all, at the end of the day all we have is how we have treated others. So the next time you screw up and do something you think is unforgiveable, ask yourself if someone wronged me in this way what would I want them to do to show me they care. You might just be surprised at that person's ability to forgive. The next time someone extends the olive branch don't be too proud to reach out and grab it. Pride comes before the fall. Sit down with that person, grab a fork and indulge in some humble pie. It's only my humble opinion. That's my advice. You can take it or leave it.